"I'm losing you and it's effortless..."

...and before you go on to thinking the subject line of this post has loftier meaning, let me assure you, it most certainly does not...I heard that lyric in a song and though that it was not only fluidly poetic, but consequently how I feel about my patience...

But, that's not to say that the lyric in question hasn't inspired thought...great amounts of thought...

More on the topic of me losing my patience...I have had a short fuse for a great many these days...which I know is majorly spurned by my frustration and intense stress created by my occupation...which is not healthy...I have low tolerence for people that can't think outside the box or do things for themselves - and even lower tolerance for those who show the slightest bit of condescending behavior toward me...even in teasing or joking, I find that I have been really overly sensitive...About crap I KNOW is meant to be in the name of "good fun"...Not sure what my deal is persay...but I know I take it out on the wrong folks...which then sets off this avalanche of guilt to where i overreact in the other direction...trying to apologize waaaaay too much to where I feel compelled to work really hard to make it up to said folks and end up doing to much, merely furthering their irritation of my obnoxious behavior...I think I need to take up yoga or something...I need to get some zen back in my life so when stress happens I don't stress out my loved ones...I started blogging three years ago to help me through some stressful times in my life...I lost sight of the purpose of writing my thoughts in times of tension...I need to go back to using this as not only a platform to recount experience, but also to hash out the shitty stuff...

On to happier thoughts...

have I mentioned how much I LOVE my house!!! :0)
The whole experience has been wonderful so far - I am super blessed...OH< and there is not only a trip to Europe in the works, but a potential holiday trip to somewhere tropical, as well as a trip to...none other than...AUSTRALIA!!! I seriously can't wait!! The family! The food! The beaches! The cousins goin' out on the town together! It has been six long years - too long really...I can't wait!!!

AUSSIE, AUSSIE, AUSSIE - OY!! OY!! OY!!