"There is a light at the end of the tunne, I promise, it is just that someone is standing and blocking the light right now."

Well hurry up and get out of the way!! That's what I think! That quote was uttered by my boss, whom in an attempt to make my day told me she fully intends to promote me and hire out a new receptionist ASAP, just certain things need to fall into place first. I can hang...I have been hanging for a good year and a half now...what's a couple more months? But, I just hope I am hanging on for something good and not something worse. Only time will tell...

So things have been good this week - overall. Work has been busy and stressful, but at least I am not pulling my hair out and the days have gone by quickly. I have begun to "plan" things and it has made me really giddy and excited for the coming months. I saw "Sideways", which I loved and want to see again...If anything for the nostalgia of the scenery. (Almost totally filmed in the Solvang/Santa Ynez/Lompoc /Los Olivos zone...)

Dustin is coming to the OC tonight, which is always exciting!

Lots of big stuff has happened this week and I don't have time to get into it...more thorough blog to come...Just wanted to write this one since I am excited about my verbal confirmation of things to come! :)

"It's a luscious mix of words and tricks..." - From The Shins song "Feeling is Creepy"...My favorite song of the week...

Pensive: that word best describes the mood I was in all weekend. On friday, Luis and I went to dinner at TGI Friday's, read for a little while in Barnes & Noble and then went to watch "In Good Company". Overall I liked the movie - fluffy as it may be - but it sparked some seriously introspective thought...I have been coming to terms with what I want to do with my life and my fears of one day being alone. (Quote: "It's not being by myself that scares me, it is ending up alone...that is very different.") After some much needed conversation, my mood was eased and I was able to relax completely.

Saturday ran a heap of errands I had been putting off. Had "lunch" at Costco. Then in the evening met up with Luis and we took my gran out for her birthday. Dinner was at the place called Cedar Creek, or something, and it was GRUB...A bit pricey, but you got a ton of food which balanced things out a bit. After we went back to Spinnaker for some coffee and cake, which in keeping with the theme of the weekend was chill and much needed. I love hearing my grandparents talk. We left around 9 (they had to prepare for a big day sunday, driving to Vegas and all) and came back to my place, to discover that Julie and her sister Noelle were getting ready to watch some OC episodes...After making a few fireballs out of an empty water bottle and my "aim-n-flame", Luis and joined for the viewing session.

Sunday was very slow in pace. Tried to get my TV fixed only to be given the cold shoulder by the Sears' guy...Irritated and defeated, I ran a couple more errands and went home to relax and watch movies. Toyed with the idea of taking myself to the movies, but figured I should save the money. After buying out the grocery store, I cooked dinner and settled in for the evening. Found out that Jules moved and Molly gave me the low-down on law school. It was the best conversation we had had in probably a year...no exaggeration...She sounds great - upbeat, social, happy. I was thrilled to hear from her in such a great disposition...I helped her to discover that she is living in a parallel universe - of sorts. Her three best friends at school: Andrea, Julie, and another girl named Molly. I pointed out the oddity in that coincidence and she agreed...The vortex lives on in San Diego. The theme of family was again enforced and it made me realize (yet again...) that even though you may not get a long with your best friend from time to time, it doesn't mean you will ever lose that friendship...She has done some hurtful things to me, but I know, in the end, she is always going to be there for me...I fell asleep watching "Bridget Jones' Diary" in place of "Crossing Jordan" (which, if you know me, I was bummed to say the least, but that is a cute movie, so i got over my discontempt quickly.)

Tonight I am going to cook some healthy food for dinner and go work out. I need to take better care of myself...

It must be said that although I was in a contemplative mood, I was not sour all weekend. Quite the contrary...I was a little down on saturday, but after talking to Luis and Molly and then my mom today at lunch, I realized it is possible that the day may come when I will be alone, but there is no reason for me to feel lonely...(as if that made any sense). I will be okay no matter what...And that is a very refreshing thought...

Tick tock...

Too much time has passed since I have blogged...There is so much I wanted to talk about, but I feel this entry is going to be merely a summary and far from the in-depth post for which I have been yearning to pen...

New Year's Eve was amazing - one of the most memorable by far! By now all of the details and excitement of the trip has been recounted and I will rely on the blogs of my friends. One thing I will say is I am completely enamoured with San Francisco and could really see myself living there one day...But a big thank you goes out to the Shafae family for having us up to the Sha-fortress.

The week after New Year's brought immense rain and destruction...winds, floods, mudslides...reminded me a bit of the Fredensborg Canyon all over again (I doubt anyone will catch the reference)...that following weekend, Luis and I went to Pasadena to celebrate Silvia's 24th Birthday at McMurphy's. I proceeded to get crunk as hell, which was hilarious - especially to myself. I have re-discovered that I must have a chemical intolerance to tequila, and vowed, yet again, that I will never drink that rot-gut again. We took a cab (half a block) to our hotel and I crashed where I landed (which was kinda on the bed still in my clothes). I was awoken the next morning to a serious hangover and the damn fire alarm. Luis and I, in a disoriented state, stumbled down the stairs and outside (into the rain) to wait for the Fire Department with the rest of the disgruntled hotel guests. We decided after nearly an hour of no resolve of the fire alarm situation to pack up our ish, check out, and camp out on his parents' couches. We watched movies and ate and recouped.

The week at work which followed really sucked monkey balls...I was beyond stressed and after a sob fest in the ladies room I decided this is enough...I need a change...Maybe a change of venue...Maybe a change of residence all together...definitely a change of perspective...I will just have to see what happens.

Last weekend (the 3-day holiday converted into a 4 day weekend) was a much needed mental respite. Luis and I flew home to Portland. We were "iced in" on saturday and couldn't leave the house. It was really cool actually, as all the roads, driveways, houses, windows, everything! Luis and I tried to take a step out on to the drive way and soon realized we needed ice skates, not shoes. Instead of hitting the town, we watched movies, played cards, napped, ate, drank, and were merry. It was super relaxing. Sunday we were finally able to get out of the house and took the Max (Portland's version of muni) into the city. We walked from one district to the next, just exploring the ethnic neighborhoods and checking out the scene. Headed home in the early evening to meet up with my dad and go to Outback for dinner. After some grub, went home and played more cards. Luis and I left monday night - and thanks to the first class tickets we had (courtesy of my frequent flyer miles), we just barely made our flight. We had flowing vodka beverages and played some more cards and talked and stuff...It was a good trip - I was stoked to show Luis around and it was good to go home. Sometimes everyone needs to go home for a bit...

This week has been more of the same frustration, although I have decided I dont want it to bother me anymore. I applied for 2 jobs online and will hopefully apply for another tomorrow or monday, depending on when i can get my cover letter re-written. I have spent a majority of the day here at work not really working, but figuring out what I want in my career...I need to start being productive before someone catches on to my ploy...Things are on the up...I hope...

Gotta get some stuff done in the next 15 minutes before i leave for lunch...

To be continued in another installment...